DAMN ENGLAND TELLS YOU WHAT TO LIKE

OCTOBER 2023 - I like a lot of things. Here's some of them.

Oct 30, 2023

Hello. It’s officially Spooky Season. It’s maybe the scariest the world has been in a long time, not sure everything going on has been planned to really make this year’s Halloween actually terrfying but well done everyone, it’s worked.

On that here’s my latest, totally superfluous, addition to your inbox. We have a laugh! Let’s have a laugh! Hopefully this encourages you to take in at least one bit of pop culture you might not have before I ROFL’D you into it.

MUSIC

Just A Touch (Athens of The North)

I’ve been buying too many records for way too long but as it’s a costly thing you don’t immmediately have 20 records that all work well together if you are out DJing. It takes time to build up the collection and for a good set of records to present themselves. Over the past few years I’ve been buying more and more 80’s R&B and Soul. Electonic stuff like Kashif, Melba Moore, Prince, Rufus & Chaka Khan. Stuff with a drum machine but a wild session bassist and excellent singer.
You get one, find another and slowly build up a set of tracks that complement each other perfectly.

The frankly unstoppable Glasgow label Athens of The North have been on a similar journey and have just released a compilation of the best UK 90’s Soul. It’s like a great DJ set except it’s all on one record. This thing cooks. It’s so good. I can’t take credit for how good it is but I can share it far and wide.

FILM

Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight

It’s spooky season and timed almost perfectly for me, the spookiest thing possible has happened. I got sick. A horrible sinus flu thing.
But the upside is I’ve spent the last few days in bed plowing through horror movies. We’ve had highs (Deep Red) we’ve had lows (Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter) and we’ve had Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight.

The plot here (who cares?) is your classic bunch of strangers trapped inside a remote location fending off a hoard of demons until sun up and generally not doing a great job. The inconic CCH Pounder’s character arc plays out as she gets her arm ripped off, drinks a bottle of vodka and is basically fine, attempts to flip off THE DEVIL with her bloody stump then sacrifices herself by strapping a vest of grenades to herself and setting them off just in time.

Now I have absolutely no idea why they made the spelling of Night Knight but there you go. There’s not much logic here only a really fun 90’s era horror movie that feels like watching Saturday morning TV again except there’s an abundance of boobs, really great creature effects and Billy Zane wearing at least 5 different pairs of sunglasses. Highly recommend. Oh the film is about THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. I’m not even joking.

Oh it’s directed by the guy that directed Tupac’s best movie Juice.

TV

My Mum, Your Dad

Every so often a new TV format rocks up that immediatly just clicks. You know you are about to make some new TV friends and just have a wonderful time. Davina McCall is usually there and in this case she is. Of course she is.

The format? Love Island for your Mum.

Single parents aged between 40-60 all get dropped off at a mansion by their kids (a mansion very similar to the equally wild C4 open relationship reality show Open House and the absolutely wild couples therapy show In Love & Toxic: Blue Therapy) and then mingle for 2 weeks in the hope of finding new love. Down the road in a barn the kids watch, Gogglebox style, unbeknownst to their parents and control who dates who. All the while we as viewers desperately hope future brother and sister in laws don’t hook up at the travelodge they are all packed in for over the duration of filming. Easy now.

There’s a (way too recently) bereaved widow, two men called Martin who are over 6ft 10in tall and only 10 episodes. It’s perfect.

BOOK

The Hellebore Guide To Occult Britain

I picked this up at the Falmouth Museum of Folklore and Witchcraft back in August and since then I’ve gone full COOL GUY and take this book everywhere with me. I’m not really one for English Heritage or National Trust properties but this alternative guide to mystical spots around the country really gets my British right-of-way rambling blood going. Hit the moors. Look at an old stone. Cast a spell. It’s all here.

Brought to you by the people behind semi-regular goth zine Hellebore these guys really know how to combine top drawer graphic design, a love for 70’s folk horror and maps. What a combo.

So far I’ve seen a hidden memorial to witches in Edinburgh, weird paintings in the basement of a spooky bookstore in Holborn and have a trip planned to the Midlands to see some big weird standing stones out in the middle of nowhere.

A THING YOU MUST DO

I took my mum to ABBA Voyage. It’s the second time I’ve been, a different Mum each time. It’s the Mum capital of the UK and maybe one of the greatest things you can do in this life.
The show is absolutely incredible but the vibe you get from 3,000 Mums going off leash is priceless.
Afterwards while waiting for the train all the mums started singing Thank You For The Music at all the other mums on the opposite platform. It’s what I imagine going to a good football match is for Dads. Just as boozy. Just as violent.

Don’t miss it. Booking til Nov ‘24.

STAND UP BY A FRIEND

My good friend Omid Singh released his first special a few weeks ago. As long as I’ve worked in comedy I’ve known Omid (too long). I once shaved the back of his neck in my living room. He once got me so stoned in front of the Tower of London I thought I might die. We’ve lived. We’ve laughed. We’ve loved.

Suffice to say I’m blown away (but not surprised) by how good this special is.